Blessings

I am very thankful for this time of year. I love Christmas time and the spirit it brings.
This is kind of like Livie's first Christmas...last year we had just gotten home from the hospital and she wasn't able to do much, she couldn't see and her brain still wasn't working, and the year before that she was too little to really understand what was going on.
So this year has been a lot of fun watching her get excited for Santa to come and teaching her the real reason we celebrate Christmas- Christ's birth.

I am sooooo thankful that Livie is here to celebrate this Christmas with us. I am thankful for all the progress she has made in just a year. She's been through a lot this past year and Livie has grown up so much.
It has been a very hard year for Livie and me.
I have been faced with circumstances that I never, ever imagined I would be faced with. And because of it I've had to make some very hard decisions.
Even though its been a crazy year, I feel like I have grown so much and learned a lot. Without the bad you can't experience the good and I have been very blessed to experience the good. Alyvia really is my biggest blessing. Because of everything we've gone though I feel like we have a very close, special bond. She has an amazing spirit I'm so grateful Heavenly Father chose me to be her mother.

I am also thankful for all the love and support we have gotten from everyone this past year. THANK YOU.

I try to stay positive, but sometimes I feel a little frustrated and down with some of the things that have happened, so then I count my blessings and realize that I really am very blessed. I wanted to list some of my blessings:

10. Family. I have an awesome, loving family. Including both my mom's and my dad's side.

9. My brother, Logan, who is serving a mission right now.

8. My friends. I have some really great friends, especially from my old ward out in Groveland, they are amazing people.

7. The scriptures. They contain so much history and really are the word of God.

6. The power of prayer.

5. Modern technology

4. I know I already said family, but... my parents. I am close with both my mom and dad. I'm thankful for all they've taught me. They are both incredible people.

3. My testimony. It has definitely been tested this past year, but has really grown as I've depended on it.

2. My sweet Livie bug! She is my greatest joy.

1. Our Savior, Jesus Christ.

I hope that everyone has a MeRry ChRistMas!!! And here's to the new year, may it bring us all good health and happiness!!


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This last weekend we had a Christmas party (a private party at Rumbi's grill, it turned out really cool) with my mom's side of the family. We don't see each other a lot so it was fun seeing everyone. And I could never find Livie because she was always off playing with one of the cousins. Which she used to never do, she used to always be glued to my side, so it was nice seeing her playing with the kids :)



Goofy family picture

Phillips family, minus Jojo...Ashley...oh and Logan too. haha, we're looking kind of small!

Thanksgiving Recap

I am a little slow in posting this...

We had a great Thanksgiving with the Phillips family. I love coming from such a big, close knit family!!

My sister stayed with me over the weekend, it was great having her around

Granny Goose came to our Thanksgiving feast. Livie LOVES her Granny Goose!

Livie loves playing with her little cousin


Mom and her Livie bug!!!





Then over the weekend, we had to go see the much talked about film...Twilight. 'Us girls' went, we had a good time!

THEN...My sisters and I, Livie and our other 'fourth sister' Kassidee, went shopping in SLC. We made a girl trip of it and had a lot of fun!!!!

My beautiful sisters!

We went and ate at the Melting Pot, it was delish!! I had never been there before. Its a really cool place with lots of yummy fondue and REALLY good dessert!!

*siSters! beSt friends!!

We also went to the Mayan and ate there (another first for me)

It was another really cool place to eat at. They have cliff divers (who just may happen to be buff, scantily clad men diving and doing cool tricks off the cliff... what's not to love there ;) hehe

Livie thought Carl's Jr's was the best place to eat at since they had a play pen and since she got her mom to go inside it with her!!

All in all, we had a great Thanksgiving/weekend, spent with family, friends, food and fun times!!

Better!!

Sorry its taken a while to update... First I want to say thank you for all the love and support, it means more than any of you will ever know(: Livie is doing much better, luckily we had a short hospital stay. Livie has continued to have an on and off fever, but no more seizures (thank goodness!) All her lab work came back negative...so we don't really know what she's fighting. The Dr's biggest concerns are the spinal meningitis or the brain tumor, luckily it doesn't look like either of those two are coming back.

We are just happy to be home! I am keeping Livie cooped up in the house for awhile until she's completely over whatever she has. She's not loving it, but because she has a weak immune system she seems to pick up every bug, so we're just being careful and laying low...and watching lots and lots of Dora!!! (:

Seizures...

Yesterday started off as a good day, I even ran into a few people who asked about Livie and her health and I told them that she is not 100%, and she may never be, but she is pretty darn close. She is doing very well, especially as of lately. Well...I think I may have jinxed us. Right after that Livie had a seizure (she hadn't had one for 6 months) and she had a really hard time coming out of the seizure. For some reason when Livie seizes, she stops breathing (something else that had
really been improving) Even after she came to and started breathing on her own, her eyes were still deviated and she couldn't speak or walk, it took quite a bit of time for her to come out of it.
And even then she just wasn't acting right. I didn't have a very good feeling about things...

A little while later after Livie fell asleep she woke up and started acting...crazy. She was not making sense. She started twitching and acting incoherent, yet she could talk and sit up. Right as I decided I needed to take her to the ER Livie had another seizure, one like she's never ever had before. It was one of her worst ones, it was awful. She went unconscious and stopped breathing. I couldn't get her to come to. Now as bad as this sounds, I am used to seeing my child stop breathing and pass out, she usually starts to breathe on her own as she comes to, especially if I give her a few breaths. But this was not the case this time. I just knew something wasn't right. Livie was unconscious and not breathing for quite some time, panic started to set in. Nothing was working, I could NOT get Livie to come back. I was in a full panic, I called 911 and they dispatched an ambulance, meanwhile I was giving Livie mouth to mouth. She just laid there, purple, unmoving and so lifeless. I got that horrible, awful feeling that is every mother's worst nightmare...I honestly thought my sweet girl was going to die.
And I didn't know how to save her.

Finally, after what felt like hours, for some reason- I like to call it God, Livie sucked in one deep breath of air!!! It was one of the happiest moments of my life. She only took that one breath of air, but it was enough for me.

Needless to say, Livie got her very first ambulance ride (who would have thought with all her medical history she's never had an ambulance ride!) to Portneuf (I decided to go there since my, er, experiences with Bingham have not been great to say the least. I wasn't let down, I was very happy with Portneuf and their nurses, they did a great job!)

Alyvia's been in the hospital since. She's had a fever of 104.8. But with lots of tylenol and motrin we're trying to keep the fever down and figure out whats causing the fever, hopefully nothing too serious. (If the seizures keep up then Livie will have another MRI done) The Dr said that in dealing with an uncommon child like Livie and her extensive medical history, it would be best to keep her for a while and observe her. He didn't like that she had 2 seizures back to back. I didn't like any of it.

So Livie's in the hospital recuperating and so far she is doing good. Hopefully we'll get to go home later today, as long as there's no more seizures.

It was a scary night last night and once again I'm reminded just how fragile life really is. I am so grateful for all the progress Livie has made. Even though she has done so well, her brain is still not healed 100% perhaps it never will be, but I cannot complain, Livie has made leaps and bounds of progress this past year, more than any of the doctors thought she ever could. She really is my miracle. I do not know what I would do without her, she is my life and light. I love her sooooo crazy much. And I am so thankful that she is still here with me.