Seizures...

Yesterday started off as a good day, I even ran into a few people who asked about Livie and her health and I told them that she is not 100%, and she may never be, but she is pretty darn close. She is doing very well, especially as of lately. Well...I think I may have jinxed us. Right after that Livie had a seizure (she hadn't had one for 6 months) and she had a really hard time coming out of the seizure. For some reason when Livie seizes, she stops breathing (something else that had
really been improving) Even after she came to and started breathing on her own, her eyes were still deviated and she couldn't speak or walk, it took quite a bit of time for her to come out of it.
And even then she just wasn't acting right. I didn't have a very good feeling about things...

A little while later after Livie fell asleep she woke up and started acting...crazy. She was not making sense. She started twitching and acting incoherent, yet she could talk and sit up. Right as I decided I needed to take her to the ER Livie had another seizure, one like she's never ever had before. It was one of her worst ones, it was awful. She went unconscious and stopped breathing. I couldn't get her to come to. Now as bad as this sounds, I am used to seeing my child stop breathing and pass out, she usually starts to breathe on her own as she comes to, especially if I give her a few breaths. But this was not the case this time. I just knew something wasn't right. Livie was unconscious and not breathing for quite some time, panic started to set in. Nothing was working, I could NOT get Livie to come back. I was in a full panic, I called 911 and they dispatched an ambulance, meanwhile I was giving Livie mouth to mouth. She just laid there, purple, unmoving and so lifeless. I got that horrible, awful feeling that is every mother's worst nightmare...I honestly thought my sweet girl was going to die.
And I didn't know how to save her.

Finally, after what felt like hours, for some reason- I like to call it God, Livie sucked in one deep breath of air!!! It was one of the happiest moments of my life. She only took that one breath of air, but it was enough for me.

Needless to say, Livie got her very first ambulance ride (who would have thought with all her medical history she's never had an ambulance ride!) to Portneuf (I decided to go there since my, er, experiences with Bingham have not been great to say the least. I wasn't let down, I was very happy with Portneuf and their nurses, they did a great job!)

Alyvia's been in the hospital since. She's had a fever of 104.8. But with lots of tylenol and motrin we're trying to keep the fever down and figure out whats causing the fever, hopefully nothing too serious. (If the seizures keep up then Livie will have another MRI done) The Dr said that in dealing with an uncommon child like Livie and her extensive medical history, it would be best to keep her for a while and observe her. He didn't like that she had 2 seizures back to back. I didn't like any of it.

So Livie's in the hospital recuperating and so far she is doing good. Hopefully we'll get to go home later today, as long as there's no more seizures.

It was a scary night last night and once again I'm reminded just how fragile life really is. I am so grateful for all the progress Livie has made. Even though she has done so well, her brain is still not healed 100% perhaps it never will be, but I cannot complain, Livie has made leaps and bounds of progress this past year, more than any of the doctors thought she ever could. She really is my miracle. I do not know what I would do without her, she is my life and light. I love her sooooo crazy much. And I am so thankful that she is still here with me.