Dec 3, 2008

Seizures...

Yesterday started off as a good day, I even ran into a few people who asked about Livie and her health and I told them that she is not 100%, and she may never be, but she is pretty darn close. She is doing very well, especially as of lately. Well...I think I may have jinxed us. Right after that Livie had a seizure (she hadn't had one for 6 months) and she had a really hard time coming out of the seizure. For some reason when Livie seizes, she stops breathing (something else that had
really been improving) Even after she came to and started breathing on her own, her eyes were still deviated and she couldn't speak or walk, it took quite a bit of time for her to come out of it.
And even then she just wasn't acting right. I didn't have a very good feeling about things...

A little while later after Livie fell asleep she woke up and started acting...crazy. She was not making sense. She started twitching and acting incoherent, yet she could talk and sit up. Right as I decided I needed to take her to the ER Livie had another seizure, one like she's never ever had before. It was one of her worst ones, it was awful. She went unconscious and stopped breathing. I couldn't get her to come to. Now as bad as this sounds, I am used to seeing my child stop breathing and pass out, she usually starts to breathe on her own as she comes to, especially if I give her a few breaths. But this was not the case this time. I just knew something wasn't right. Livie was unconscious and not breathing for quite some time, panic started to set in. Nothing was working, I could NOT get Livie to come back. I was in a full panic, I called 911 and they dispatched an ambulance, meanwhile I was giving Livie mouth to mouth. She just laid there, purple, unmoving and so lifeless. I got that horrible, awful feeling that is every mother's worst nightmare...I honestly thought my sweet girl was going to die.
And I didn't know how to save her.

Finally, after what felt like hours, for some reason- I like to call it God, Livie sucked in one deep breath of air!!! It was one of the happiest moments of my life. She only took that one breath of air, but it was enough for me.

Needless to say, Livie got her very first ambulance ride (who would have thought with all her medical history she's never had an ambulance ride!) to Portneuf (I decided to go there since my, er, experiences with Bingham have not been great to say the least. I wasn't let down, I was very happy with Portneuf and their nurses, they did a great job!)

Alyvia's been in the hospital since. She's had a fever of 104.8. But with lots of tylenol and motrin we're trying to keep the fever down and figure out whats causing the fever, hopefully nothing too serious. (If the seizures keep up then Livie will have another MRI done) The Dr said that in dealing with an uncommon child like Livie and her extensive medical history, it would be best to keep her for a while and observe her. He didn't like that she had 2 seizures back to back. I didn't like any of it.

So Livie's in the hospital recuperating and so far she is doing good. Hopefully we'll get to go home later today, as long as there's no more seizures.

It was a scary night last night and once again I'm reminded just how fragile life really is. I am so grateful for all the progress Livie has made. Even though she has done so well, her brain is still not healed 100% perhaps it never will be, but I cannot complain, Livie has made leaps and bounds of progress this past year, more than any of the doctors thought she ever could. She really is my miracle. I do not know what I would do without her, she is my life and light. I love her sooooo crazy much. And I am so thankful that she is still here with me.


32 comments:

Jason & Courtney & Diezel said...

Holy cow! I just read that post & cried. Jason & I wish you and Alivia only the best. She is a doll.

The Gray Gang said...

Kiss that little girl! I'm sorry for all of the stress! I hope she is feeling happy and healthy soon!!! You are in our thoughts and prayers!!

Shine said...

Oh Megan, that is just so frustrating and terrifying to have her all of the sudden start seizing again. She is an amazing little girl (she comes by it rightfully so... her Mom's pretty awesome too! You have such incredible faith and have learned so much! Not many mothers would know how or be together enough to give their baby life-saving mouth-to-mouth in such a stressful situation). Let's pray that she is able to come home today and stays healthy! :)

Hillary said...

Megan~ I am so sorry to hear about this. That picture breaks my heart. You can just see that she doesn't feel good. Hang in there, keep us updated and let us know if there is ANYTHING that we can do!

Amber Wray said...

Megan-
Does saying sorry even cover it. Oh my goodness. My heart was racing while I was reading this post! I could envision it all in my mind. You are so brave and awesome. You know, Heavenly father sent Livie to you because he knew you had the strength of 10 moms. I hope Livie gets feeling better and stabalizes. Good Luck!

Kristy said...

Oh my gosh!!! I am so sorry. You are such a strong person. Livie is really lucky to have you as a mom. I am so glad that she is okay and we will keep you guys in our prayers!

Michelle said...

Oh my gosh Megan, I can not believe that. Poor little Livie! You both have been through so much. You both are so strong! I will pray for you guys.

Ashley and Dave said...

I am so sorry that you and Livie both had such a hard day yesterday! She is so precious. You both will definatley be in our prayers!

Misty said...

Oh look at her cute little face!!! I will pray for her and for you. Please keep us posted!

Anonymous said...

OH my goodness... I am CRYING right now. I can't believe how brave you are. Livie is so precious, I hope that she will be ok. Best of luck with the recovery. You're in our prayers.

Kristine said...

Hi Megan,

My heart just dropped when I read your post today.

Yes, I suppose both of our girls will never be 100%, but that is what makes them special as well. They touch people in ways that other children can't and make life so much more meaningful.

I hope, hope, hope that this is a one time glitch and that it never happens again. As I'm sure you know, with brain issues, strange things happen and then everything is great again! Katie and I will say a prayer for Livie tonight. I hope you're home soon!

Kristine

Kendall and Katy said...

Hey Megan, I am so sad that she is having seizures again! I can't imagine how scary that is. I hope and pray that they will find the problem and she can come home soon!

Tenille said...

Oh my goodness! Let us know if you need anything Megan! We are your sisters in Utah:) We will keep you both in our prayers!

Landon and Dana said...

oh meg.... you are such an amazing mom. You are so strong. i will keep Livie in my prayers and hope she makes a speedy recovery!

Tara said...

that just brought tears to my eyes. i am so glad she is doing ok. keep your chin up!!

The Turnarounds said...

Megan, I'm So Sorry about everything!! It's rough when you think that now you can start to "relax" just a little, then the world flips. You are such a Wonderful person who I admire and appreciate more then you will ever know. If/when you need a co-mom to talk to I'm here for you.

Becky Wertz said...

I am a relative of Kaidence and Shauntelle. I sometimes read your inspiring blog. I hope you don't mind me commenting. I think you and your brave daughter are an inspiration. You will be in my families prayers.

Skylin said...

Gosh! That sounds so scary! I don't know if I ever told you this before, but my older brother had a brain tumor when he was 2, different part of the brain, it was in his temporal lobe, it flattened his optic nerve, (so he's blind) it stunted his growth, and he also suffers from seizures. He takes a medication for his seizures, but he still has probably 1 per year they're scary as heck to witness! Anyway, he's 25 years old now and he is like 6 1/2 feet tall! (doctors said he wouldn't get much taller than 4 or 5 feet) And he's very very smart! So I think Livie will get there, it just takes time. Poor girl though! Give her a big hug for me! And I hope you're doing okay! =)

Collins Crew said...

Oh Meg, I can't even begin to imagine. My prayers are with you guys. you are truely living every mothers worst nightmare as you said. Im so sorry that you guys are going through this. You've endured so much, way more than I could ever handle. Your my hero.

Kyle and Tiffany said...

Megan, I am so sorry! I was getting scared/nervous just reading your post. I truly hope that Livie will be okay and get to go home soon. You're always in our prayers.

Kaidence's Mommy said...

Oh No!!! I am so sorry. We will be praying for you both. I am so sorry that you had to go through that, but I am so glad that she is stable. I hope that you can come home soon.

Leslie and Josh said...

Can she talk coherently now that she's quite seizing or did I just miss that part. That must have been sooo scary! That is sort of how I felt when my four week old baby had RSV. Oh, you hold your breath every second don't you. I wish that you didn't have to go through all this. My heart goes out to you. We will keep you in our prayers also.
Love you.

Chrissy said...

Poor little Livie, she is a strong one. We will keep her in our prayers.

Kaitlyn said...

Megan it astounds me how strong you are! I could not even imagine going through everything that you go through. I wish I was still living near you so that I could be of more help. I'll keep you and Livie in my prayers. Let me know if there is anything you need.

Mikelle said...

Are you kidding me!! She seemed perfect the day before. I have been bragging to all my friends and family about how cute and smart Livie is and everything she has been though. Not to mention how amazing you are. You are seriously the strongest person I know. I'm so glad that we got to see you guys this week. I look up to you so much. I'm sure you'll be home in no time, livie is the toughest little girl in the word!!

B said...

Megan, we love you nd Livie so much! Know that we're praying for you as well.

Meghan said...

what a scare! i am so sorry you had to go through this when she was doing so well. you and livie will be in our prayers again...
-meghan (charlie's aunt)

Charlie Cooper said...

It's horrible to watch a seizure by itself because you feel so helpless. I can't even imagine what it must feel like when she stops breathing too. You are so incredible to be able to think and act quickly in such an scary situation. I'm hope everything gets under control again and that she rebounds quickly so you can all enjoy the holidays- We will keep you both in our prayers as well- Angel

Tara said...

Wow Megan, what an ordeal. I hope she is doing well and that you are home now. I'll pray for you and good luck.

Amy said...

You almost made it to the year mark of when she came home from Primary's! Darn It!:( You are so blessed Megan in so many ways and you are so strong! I don't think there are too many of us who would make it through this last year like you have. I think you should write a book and let the whole world know what it is you have had to go through. I know there would be a lot of mouths left hanging open in disbelief. Sorry, I know you are a private person, I hope I have'nt said too much:)

blkris said...

I am so sorry you and Livie have to go through that. Our prayers are with you. Hope all goes well.

Adams Clan said...

Wow Megan, you make me cry every time I sneak a peak at your blog. You have such a strong testimony and I love feeling it as I read. Livie is lucky to have you!