Blessings

I am very thankful for this time of year. I love Christmas time and the spirit it brings.
This is kind of like Livie's first Christmas...last year we had just gotten home from the hospital and she wasn't able to do much, she couldn't see and her brain still wasn't working, and the year before that she was too little to really understand what was going on.
So this year has been a lot of fun watching her get excited for Santa to come and teaching her the real reason we celebrate Christmas- Christ's birth.

I am sooooo thankful that Livie is here to celebrate this Christmas with us. I am thankful for all the progress she has made in just a year. She's been through a lot this past year and Livie has grown up so much.
It has been a very hard year for Livie and me.
I have been faced with circumstances that I never, ever imagined I would be faced with. And because of it I've had to make some very hard decisions.
Even though its been a crazy year, I feel like I have grown so much and learned a lot. Without the bad you can't experience the good and I have been very blessed to experience the good. Alyvia really is my biggest blessing. Because of everything we've gone though I feel like we have a very close, special bond. She has an amazing spirit I'm so grateful Heavenly Father chose me to be her mother.

I am also thankful for all the love and support we have gotten from everyone this past year. THANK YOU.

I try to stay positive, but sometimes I feel a little frustrated and down with some of the things that have happened, so then I count my blessings and realize that I really am very blessed. I wanted to list some of my blessings:

10. Family. I have an awesome, loving family. Including both my mom's and my dad's side.

9. My brother, Logan, who is serving a mission right now.

8. My friends. I have some really great friends, especially from my old ward out in Groveland, they are amazing people.

7. The scriptures. They contain so much history and really are the word of God.

6. The power of prayer.

5. Modern technology

4. I know I already said family, but... my parents. I am close with both my mom and dad. I'm thankful for all they've taught me. They are both incredible people.

3. My testimony. It has definitely been tested this past year, but has really grown as I've depended on it.

2. My sweet Livie bug! She is my greatest joy.

1. Our Savior, Jesus Christ.

I hope that everyone has a MeRry ChRistMas!!! And here's to the new year, may it bring us all good health and happiness!!


.....................................................................................

This last weekend we had a Christmas party (a private party at Rumbi's grill, it turned out really cool) with my mom's side of the family. We don't see each other a lot so it was fun seeing everyone. And I could never find Livie because she was always off playing with one of the cousins. Which she used to never do, she used to always be glued to my side, so it was nice seeing her playing with the kids :)



Goofy family picture

Phillips family, minus Jojo...Ashley...oh and Logan too. haha, we're looking kind of small!

Thanksgiving Recap

I am a little slow in posting this...

We had a great Thanksgiving with the Phillips family. I love coming from such a big, close knit family!!

My sister stayed with me over the weekend, it was great having her around

Granny Goose came to our Thanksgiving feast. Livie LOVES her Granny Goose!

Livie loves playing with her little cousin


Mom and her Livie bug!!!





Then over the weekend, we had to go see the much talked about film...Twilight. 'Us girls' went, we had a good time!

THEN...My sisters and I, Livie and our other 'fourth sister' Kassidee, went shopping in SLC. We made a girl trip of it and had a lot of fun!!!!

My beautiful sisters!

We went and ate at the Melting Pot, it was delish!! I had never been there before. Its a really cool place with lots of yummy fondue and REALLY good dessert!!

*siSters! beSt friends!!

We also went to the Mayan and ate there (another first for me)

It was another really cool place to eat at. They have cliff divers (who just may happen to be buff, scantily clad men diving and doing cool tricks off the cliff... what's not to love there ;) hehe

Livie thought Carl's Jr's was the best place to eat at since they had a play pen and since she got her mom to go inside it with her!!

All in all, we had a great Thanksgiving/weekend, spent with family, friends, food and fun times!!

Better!!

Sorry its taken a while to update... First I want to say thank you for all the love and support, it means more than any of you will ever know(: Livie is doing much better, luckily we had a short hospital stay. Livie has continued to have an on and off fever, but no more seizures (thank goodness!) All her lab work came back negative...so we don't really know what she's fighting. The Dr's biggest concerns are the spinal meningitis or the brain tumor, luckily it doesn't look like either of those two are coming back.

We are just happy to be home! I am keeping Livie cooped up in the house for awhile until she's completely over whatever she has. She's not loving it, but because she has a weak immune system she seems to pick up every bug, so we're just being careful and laying low...and watching lots and lots of Dora!!! (:

Seizures...

Yesterday started off as a good day, I even ran into a few people who asked about Livie and her health and I told them that she is not 100%, and she may never be, but she is pretty darn close. She is doing very well, especially as of lately. Well...I think I may have jinxed us. Right after that Livie had a seizure (she hadn't had one for 6 months) and she had a really hard time coming out of the seizure. For some reason when Livie seizes, she stops breathing (something else that had
really been improving) Even after she came to and started breathing on her own, her eyes were still deviated and she couldn't speak or walk, it took quite a bit of time for her to come out of it.
And even then she just wasn't acting right. I didn't have a very good feeling about things...

A little while later after Livie fell asleep she woke up and started acting...crazy. She was not making sense. She started twitching and acting incoherent, yet she could talk and sit up. Right as I decided I needed to take her to the ER Livie had another seizure, one like she's never ever had before. It was one of her worst ones, it was awful. She went unconscious and stopped breathing. I couldn't get her to come to. Now as bad as this sounds, I am used to seeing my child stop breathing and pass out, she usually starts to breathe on her own as she comes to, especially if I give her a few breaths. But this was not the case this time. I just knew something wasn't right. Livie was unconscious and not breathing for quite some time, panic started to set in. Nothing was working, I could NOT get Livie to come back. I was in a full panic, I called 911 and they dispatched an ambulance, meanwhile I was giving Livie mouth to mouth. She just laid there, purple, unmoving and so lifeless. I got that horrible, awful feeling that is every mother's worst nightmare...I honestly thought my sweet girl was going to die.
And I didn't know how to save her.

Finally, after what felt like hours, for some reason- I like to call it God, Livie sucked in one deep breath of air!!! It was one of the happiest moments of my life. She only took that one breath of air, but it was enough for me.

Needless to say, Livie got her very first ambulance ride (who would have thought with all her medical history she's never had an ambulance ride!) to Portneuf (I decided to go there since my, er, experiences with Bingham have not been great to say the least. I wasn't let down, I was very happy with Portneuf and their nurses, they did a great job!)

Alyvia's been in the hospital since. She's had a fever of 104.8. But with lots of tylenol and motrin we're trying to keep the fever down and figure out whats causing the fever, hopefully nothing too serious. (If the seizures keep up then Livie will have another MRI done) The Dr said that in dealing with an uncommon child like Livie and her extensive medical history, it would be best to keep her for a while and observe her. He didn't like that she had 2 seizures back to back. I didn't like any of it.

So Livie's in the hospital recuperating and so far she is doing good. Hopefully we'll get to go home later today, as long as there's no more seizures.

It was a scary night last night and once again I'm reminded just how fragile life really is. I am so grateful for all the progress Livie has made. Even though she has done so well, her brain is still not healed 100% perhaps it never will be, but I cannot complain, Livie has made leaps and bounds of progress this past year, more than any of the doctors thought she ever could. She really is my miracle. I do not know what I would do without her, she is my life and light. I love her sooooo crazy much. And I am so thankful that she is still here with me.

A little of this...a little of that

We have been tagged...
Tag!

The rules are-
1.Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
2.Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.
3.Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
4. Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Ok here we go, Tara tagged me....and since this blog is pretty much for Livie, I'll do half of it with my weird quirks and the other half with her weird quirks.

Megan:
1. I absolutely HATE spiders and creepy crawly things, but I have a weird fascination with snakes and lizards. I would love to have a pet snake. (My brother and sister do and snakes actually make great pets!! ;)

Cute little lizard we found at Lake Powell

Playing with Shayla's pet snake, Billy Bob

2. I don't ever, ever drink soda pop. Simply because I don't like it, I never have. It hurts my tummy.

3. I have to have my toe nails painted at all times. Not my finger nails, just my toe nails. I don't know why, I just cannot go without toe nail polish, my toes just feel naked without it.



Alyvia:
4. Livie has a blanket that her Grandma Phillips gave to her when she was just a small baby. This blanket has turned into her lovey and we don't go anywhere without it. Livie sleeps with it every night and takes it with her everywhere we go.


5. Every night to get Livie to go to sleep (haha, yes, she still sleeps with me)I have to hold her knee. That's right, her knee. I have to 'hold it tight' until she falls asleep, she'll even wake up in the night telling me to hold her knee. I don't know why she likes me to hold her knee, but she does.

6. Livie does NOT like it when things move...like the curtains or blinds, she freaks out and starts crying. Even the necklace hanging off my rear view mirror, if I turn a corner and the necklace moves, Livie screams.

7. Last, but not least, okay I will admit it, Livie kind of has some OCD going on...she has to put her toys in the correct spot every time, whether its on the closet or on her bed, it has to be in the exact right spot every time. Every night she goes into her room to make sure everything is in its correct spot and if its not than she'll put it where it goes. If you try to stop her, she has the ultimate freak out.

Now I tag: Katie S, the Gray gang, Cassie H, Skylin H, Meggan B, Steff C and Emily W.


Another Tag!!
Here are the rules:
1. Go to your pictures.
2. Upload the 4th photo from the 4th folder.
3. Post (explain?)
4. Tag your friends.


I love this picture!! This is Livie and her uncle Caleb (my little bro)on our family vacay at Lake Powell. I love that she is holding his shorts, and her little cheeks hanging out are pretty cute too!! (;

Now I tag Summer D, Erin D, Jenny C, Sheyann B, and Becky S

Well we haven't been up to too much lately...
Livie has been LOVING preschool. She goes twice a week and looks forward to it all week long. She is the youngest one in her class, but she keeps up with all the other kids. I'm very proud of her. She has learned her ABC's and knows all her colors now. Its so fun to watch her learn and grow, but kind of sad at the same time too...my baby isn't a baby anymore. When did she get so big?!!

Livie's first day of preschool


My big preschool girl!

We also went to my Uncle's 50th surprise birthday party. It was a lot of fun and Livie found some little cousins to play with. This was a big step for Livie because she's always been too needy and shy to go play on her own. I've always had to just hold her. But she played and loved every minute of it.

Livie and her cousin, Jadey.

Haha, silly girls!!

My sis and I

Livie, Jadey and Jordyn

My cousin, Andrea, and I

Halloweenie!!

We had a pretty fun Halloween this year, Livie had a Halloween party at preschool and then we went trunk or treating. She thought it was pretty cool that she got SO much candy!!


My cute little witch!


Rawr!! (She was scaring me)

Love my lit witch!

Par-tay!!

The fam!! (Minus Jojo and Logan, who is serving a mission)


A couple weekends ago we had the opportunity to go to Lake Powell for a family vacation. It was sooo much fun!! We had a really good time together, I'm so glad we were able to go.

At Lake Powell, while I watched Livie playing on the beach, laughing and building sand castles, it was hard for me to believe that one year ago Livie was in the hospital having the fight of her life. This last month has definitely brought back a mix of emotions.... Last September finding the brain tumor, then having complications from brain surgery and then watching Livie get as sick as she got. As long as I live I will never, ever forget the moment the Dr's told me they had done everything in their power to help my little girl, but she was just too sick and she was most likely not going to make it through the night. I think that's every mother's worst night mare. I just remember holding onto my very sick, sweet baby's hand and pouring my heart out to God. I would have done ANYTHING for her to get better. I would have traded places with her in a heart beat. I think that's what being a mother does to you, it teaches you true, unconditional love.

A year ago today, as I was staying at the hosptital with Alyvia not knowing what the future was going to hold for us. It was a very emotional, hard time. One of the hardest things I've ever been through, but I was also able to witness some really incredible things. I was able to meet some truly incredible people and we had some of the most incredible support being poured out from family, friends, and even strangers. I was able to witness miracles that I know came straight from God.

One year ago today, Livie was one of the sickest kids in the PICU at Primary's.

Looking at her now, you would never know.

Looking back at this past year helped me remember that I definitely have a lot to be grateful for!!

(So, maybe I took a LOT of pics at Powell, I had so many pictures I decided to make a slide show.)

Tags!!

Tagged
Favorite person (outside family): My bestie, Michele Hillman!! We are a lot alike and always have so much fun together!! She is a true friend and has always been there for me! Love ya Mish!!

Favorite food: I like everything!! Haha, its kind of a problem!! I love burgers, I like salads, and I love Italian food!! There's really not a lot I don't like.

Quirks: Umm, I HATE wearing socks! I don't know why. Sometimes in the winter I will even wear my shoes without socks!! Haha, gross, I know!

How would the person who loves you most describe you in ten words or less? I think Livie probly loves me the most... hopefully she would say I'm a good mommy who would do anything for her.

Any regrets in life? I wish I didn't mess around so much in college and took it a little more serious.

Favorite Charity/Cause: Primary Children's Medical Center...Because after spending months there with Livie, I got attached to a lot of the patients and family there. Many of them didn't have insurance or their insurance ran out because their kids were so sick. I think any sick child deserves the help to get better.

Favorite Blog recently? I don't know, I hardly ever blog or blog stalk anymore!! Bummer!

Something you can't get enough of: I agree with you Brenna....SHOES!!! I love em! A girl can never have too many shoes!!

Worst job you’ve ever had: Potato harvest!!!

What job would you pay NOT to have? Uhhh...a sewer cleaner!! Haha, I don't know!

Favorite Bible verse right now? Peter 3:18 For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God.

Guilty Pleasure: Taking a hot bath or reading a good book. Or sleeping in, I LOVE to sleep!!

Got any confessions? I hate fake nails!! I don't know why, but they kind of gross me out. I don't mind the shorter fake nails, but the really long ones make me cringe!

If you HAD to spend $1,000 on YOURSELF, how would you spend it? A super fun vacay with the people I love!

Favorite thing about your house? The carpet actually

Least favorite thing about your house? Only one bathroom and it's upstairs

One thing you are bad at? Going to bed at a decent hour

One thing you’re good at? Talking!! haha! I don't know...making people smile.

If you could change something about your circumstances, what would it be? I don't think I even want to go there.... life has def been kind of crazy lately, but it could always be worse.

Who would you like to meet someday? Jesus Christ

What makes you feel sexy? Having confidence

Who is your real life hero? My grandma, Sibyl Phillips. She was a strong, loving woman. She taught me the importance of family and being Christ like.

When are you most relaxed? When I'm vacationing, having fun with no worries!!

What stresses you out? Worrying!! I worry a lot about the future and Livie's health!

What can you not live without? My little girl, Livie!! She is my rock. My family (including my extended family), I really don't know what I would do or where I would be with out them.

Do you agree or disagree with the recent article that reported that blogs are authored by narcissists? Uhh, haven't really heard anything about that... but I try to keep this blog mostly for Livie and updates on her health.

So, now I get to tag.....I tag....Michele Houghton, Michele Hillman, Rachel Purcell, Mikelle, Laura, and anyone else who wants to do it!!



Another Tag!! (I am doing this one for Alyvia)

3 JOYS:
Livie loves her blankie!! She's had it since she was a little baby and it goes with her everywhere.
Dora!! She watches Dora the Explorer every day
Being with family

3 FEARS:
Being left!!
Losing something down the bathroom drain (even when the drain is shut!)
The wind, she doesn't like it at all

3 GOALS:
To stay tumor free!!
To get stronger lungs
To just be healthy

3 CURRENT OBSESSIONS:
Candy corn (or popcorn, as she calls it!)
pre school
Disney movies

3 RANDOM SURPRISING FACTS.......
I was EXTREMELY sick throughout my pregnancy with Livie. The Dr's think that is because of the brain tumor developing while Livie was in the womb.
(Even though Livie was born with a brain tumor, she was still a healthy 7 pounds 7 ounces.)
Livie LOVES to do hair (but not her own!!) She could sit for hours and brush and curl my hair with the curling iron. (Don't worry, we make sure the curling iron is not really plugged in)
Alyvia has quite the arm, I don't know where she gets it from, but I swear she can throw a ball harder than I can!!

Your turn!
I tag EVERYONE who hasn't done this!!!

More!!

My sisters and I love to camp, so us 4 girls decided to go camping one evening. We had to have a little help putting the tent up....but other than that we are pretty hard core campers!!

Ashley's friend, Kasey, had to help us with the tent!!

Tree huggers!!!! Haha, NOT!!

Livie got to play with Shayla's new pet bunny.

Then the next weekend we went to the....

Eastern Idaho State Fair!!! Woohoo!!
*sisters!*

Yay for the merry-go-round!! (She wanted me to ride it with her, I swear!! haha)